Life is interesting because one never knows how the journey will change us, or which path calls to us for exploration. Many live in a stupor of unresolved sadness and use one of many chemicals to numb their agony. Others only see what they wish to, about our makeup, and for Carrie people see perfection and brilliance on display. How crazy that Carrie sees flaws when she examines herself daily as the worst nurse ever. Feeling like her life is a fraud, that if only others knew the truth they would run her from the building.
She was always odd, understanding the spirits of other people without trying, and knowing her mother despised her was supposed to be held secret from even Carrie. These days she disposed of the poison that Emmy brought to her life, thankfully sparing her boys the pain she had endured. Love was so often at such a high price that she no longer wished to bask in it instead of resolving to even exist alone. Once upon a time, they created a wonderful life together but as she rethinks her priorities and finds inspiration in the authentic interactions only; Carrie dreams of a simpler life, where the weather and water are currency, and connections including great conversations fill the tank inside. Marriage feels stale and outdated, so she seeks those who can understand existing as friends, sharing resources, allowing freedom always; the dream has begun.
Don’t care to explain who I am becoming, she screams and hides. I cannot imagine my new normal and it scares me, but no longer content to sleep through the days I have remaining. I will always knowledge seek, can love be incorporated into my possible new life maybe making it complete. These will be the stories of Carrie who now lives on the brink, a unique edition of the many around town, never like the other women who tease and put her down. Carrie doesn’t know how to be loved by anyone, herself the worst clown. Mini stories of lessons to follow.