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At what age are people usually happiest? New research offers surprising clues
If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Would you choose to be nine years old, absolved of life’s most tedious responsibilities, and instead able to spend your days playing with friends and practicing your times tables?
Or would you choose your early 20s, when time feels endless and the world is your oyster – with friends, travel, pubs and clubs beckoning?
Western culture idealizes youth, so it may come as a surprise to learn that in a recent poll asking this question, the most popular answer wasn’t 9 or 23, but 36.
Yet as a developmental psychologist, I thought that response made a lot of sense.
For the last four years, I’ve been studying people’s experiences of their 30s and early 40s, and my research has led me to believe that this stage of life – while full of challenges – is much more rewarding than most might think.
The career and care crunch
When I was a researcher in my late 30s, I wanted to read more about the age period I was in. That was when I realized that no one was doing research on people in their 30s and early 40s, which puzzled me. So much often happens during this time: Buying homes, getting married or getting divorced; building careers, changing careers, having children or choosing not to have children.
To study something, it helps to name it. So my colleagues and I named the period from ages 30 to 45 “established adulthood,” and then set out to try to understand it better. While we are still collecting data, we have currently interviewed over 100 people in this age cohort, and have collected survey data from more than 600 additional people.
We went into this large-scale project expecting to find that established adults were happy but struggling. We thought there would be rewards during this period of life – perhaps being settled in career, family and friendships, or peaking physically and cognitively – but also some significant challenges.
The main challenge we anticipated was what we called “the career and care crunch.”
This refers to the collision of workplace demands and demands of caring for others that takes place in your 30s and early 40s. Trying to climb a ladder in a chosen career while also being increasingly expected to care for kids, tend to the needs of partners and perhaps care for aging parents can create a lot of stress and work.
Yet when we started to look at our data, what we found surprised us.
Yes, people were feeling overwhelmed and talked about having too much to do in too little time. But they also talked about feeling profoundly satisfied. All of these things that were bringing them stress were also bringing them joy.
For example, Yuying, 44, said “even though there are complicated points of this time period, I feel very solidly happy in this space right now.” Nina, 39, simply described herself as being “wildly happy.” (The names used in this piece are pseudonyms, as required by research protocol.)
When we took an even closer look at our data, it started to become clear why people might wish to remain age 36 over any other age. People talked about being in the prime of their lives and feeling at their peak. After years of working to develop careers and relationships, people reported feeling as though they had finally arrived.
Mark, 36, shared that, at least for him, “things feel more in place.” “I’ve put together a machine that’s finally got all the parts it needs,” he said.
A sigh of relief after the tumultuous 20s
As well as feeling as though they had accumulated the careers, relationships and general life skills they had been working toward since their 20s, people also said they had greater self-confidence and understood themselves better.
Jodie, 36, appreciated the wisdom she had gained as she reflected on life beyond her 20s:
“Now you’ve got a solid decade of life experience. And what you discover about yourself in your 20s isn’t necessarily that what you wanted was wrong. It’s just you have the opportunity to figure out what you don’t want and what’s not going to work for you. … So you go into your 30s, and you don’t waste a bunch of time going on half dozen dates with somebody that’s probably not really going to work out, because you’ve dated before and you have that confidence and that self-assuredness to be like, ‘hey, thanks but no thanks.’ Your friend circle becomes a lot closer because you weed out the people that you just don’t need in your life that bring drama.”
Most established adults we interviewed seemed to recognize that they were happier in their 30s than they were in their 20s, and this impacted how they thought about some of the signs of physical aging that they were starting to encounter. For example, Lisa, 37, said, “If I could go back physically but I had to also go back emotionally and mentally … no way. I would take flabby skin lines every day.”
Not ideal for everyone
Our research should be viewed with some caveats.
The interviews were primarily conducted with middle-class North Americans, and many of the participants are white. For those who are working class, or for those who have had to reckon with decades of systemic racism, established adulthood may not be so rosy.
It is also worth noting that the career and care crunch has been exacerbated, especially for women, by the COVID-19 pandemic. For this reason, the pandemic may be leading to a decrease in life satisfaction, especially for established adults who are parents trying to navigate full-time careers and full-time child care.
[You’re smart and curious about the world. So are The Conversation’s authors and editors. You can get our highlights each weekend.]At the same time, that people think of their 30s – and not their 20s or their teens – as the sweet spot in their lives to which they’d like to return suggests that this is a period of life that we should pay more attention to.
And this is slowly happening. Along with my own work is an excellent book recently written by Kayleen Shaefer, “But You’re Still So Young,” that explores people navigating their 30s. In her book she tells stories of changing career paths, navigating relationships and dealing with fertility.
My colleagues and I hope that our work and Shaefer’s book are just the beginning. Having a better understanding of the challenges and rewards of established adulthood will give society more tools to support people during that period, ensuring that this golden age provides not only memories that we will fondly look back upon, but also a solid foundation for the rest of our lives.
Clare Mehta, Associate Professor of Psychology, Emmanuel College
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Share This Read Time:2 Minute5 Ways Pets Can Improve Mental HealthPet ownership can have a positive effect on people, including those who may be struggling with mental health. From minimizing loneliness and stress to aiding in social situations, pets can truly go above and beyond for their human companions.“Millions of people are affected by mental health disorders across the U.S., so when a doctor recommends a life with a pet, he or she is truly writing a prescription for a happier, healthier life,” said Jam Stewart, vice president of corporate affairs at Mars Petcare. “We created the BETTER CITIES FOR PETS™ program, which highlights the importance of human-animal interaction and how pet-friendly spaces can help ensure people and their pets can live their best lives together.”Consider these mental health benefits that pet ownership can bring, according to the WALTHAM™ Centre for Pet Nutrition, and visit BetterCitiesForPets.com to learn more about the benefits of four-legged friends and how pet owners can help them in return.5 Ways Pets Can Improve Mental HealthCombat Loneliness – Loneliness can take many forms, whether it’s caused by increasingly demanding careers or the heightened impact of social media, and surveys suggest that for those who are able, getting a pet can help. More than half of pet owners said getting a pet gave them a new sense of purpose. Preparing to tackle the day ahead can be easier with your furry friend at your side.Make Larger Social Circles – Pets can help create social bonds between people. Pet owners tend to make more friends in their communities than non-pet owners, because pets increase friendliness, helpfulness and trust. Whether it’s on a walk around the block or in an active dog park, furry friends are often up for meeting someone new, which provides a way to break down social barriers and increase your circle of pet-loving friends.Help with Stress Management – It’s been shown that people with pets may be better able to deal with stress. Not only do pets provide greater self-esteem, enhanced social skills and an increased sense of empathy, pets can be beneficial in a wide range of therapeutic and institutional settings in animal-assisted therapy. Feel Safer – Not only do people who walk their dogs get more physical activity on average than their non-dog walker counterparts, they also feel safer in their neighborhoods. Bringing your fur pal on a walk is akin to the “buddy system” and can help you feel more secure in your surroundings. Learn Valuable Lessons – Taking care of dogs and cats prepares people for increased responsibilities as they get older. From childhood through adulthood, pets can provide life lessons like the importance of respecting boundaries and enjoying life’s big and small moments.Photos courtesy of FotoliaSOURCE: Mars PetcareAt what age are people happiest?
ShareOriginally posted on May 20, 2019 @ 12:32 amShare ThisRelated Posts:Improve Your Mental Health with Better Sleep5 Ways to Improve Your Heart HealthBeyond beautiful: How plants improve mental and…‘It Impacts Weight, Sleep and Mental HealthResources for Addressing Mental Health Challenges at WorkImprove Academic Outcomes through Access to Health…
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Narcissistic people aren’t just full of themselves – new research finds they’re more likely to be aggressive and violent
People who think they are superior have no qualms about attacking those they regard as inferior.Sigrid Olsson/PhotoAlto Agency RF Collections via Getty Images
Brad Bushman, The Ohio State University and Sophie Kjaervik, The Ohio State University
The Research Brief is a short take about interesting academic work.
The big idea
We recently reviewed 437 studies of narcissism and aggression involving a total of over 123,000 participants and found narcissism is related to a 21% increase in aggression and an 18% increase in violence.
Narcissism is defined as “entitled self-importance.” The term narcissism comes from the mythical Greek character Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image reflected in still water. Aggression is defined as any behavior intended to harm another person who does not want to be harmed, whereas violence is defined as aggression that involves extreme physical harm such as injury or death.
Our review found that individuals high in narcissism are especially aggressive when provoked, but are also aggressive when they aren’t provoked. Study participants with high levels of narcissism showed high levels of physical aggression, verbal aggression, spreading gossip, bullying others, and even displacing aggression against innocent bystanders. They attacked in both a hotheaded and coldblooded manner. Narcissism was related to aggression in males and females of all ages from both Western and Eastern countries.
People who think they are superior seem to have no qualms about attacking others whom they regard as inferior.
Why it matters
Research shows everyone has some level of narcissism, but some people have higher levels than others. The higher the level of narcissism, the higher the level of aggression.
Narcissistic people aren’t just full of themselves
A dark side to selfies?CREATISTA/iStock via Getty Images Plus
People high in narcissism tend to be bad relationship partners, and they also tend to discriminate against others and to be low in empathy.
Unfortunately, narcissism is on the rise, and social media might be a contributing factor. Recent research found people who posted large numbers of selfies on social media developed a 25% rise in narcissistic traits over a four-month period. A 2019 survey by the smartphone company Honor found that 85% of people are taking more pictures of themselves than ever before. In recent years, social media has largely evolved from keeping in touch with others to flaunting for attention.
What other research is being done
One very important line of work investigates how people become narcissistic in the first place. For example, one study found that when parents overvalue, overestimate and overpraise their child’s qualities, their child tends to become more narcissistic over time. Such parents think their child is more special and entitled than other children. This study also found that if parents want their child to have healthy self-esteem instead of unhealthy narcissism, they should give unconditional warmth and love to their child.
Our review looked at the link between narcissism and aggression at the individual level. But the link also exists at the group level. Research has found that “collective narcissism” – or “my group is superior to your group” – is related to intergroup aggression, especially when one’s in-group (“us”) is threatened by an out-group (“them”).
How we do our work
Our study, called a meta-analytic review, combined data from multiple studies investigating the same topic to develop a conclusion that is statistically stronger because of the increased number of participants. A meta-analytic review can reveal patterns that aren’t obvious in any one study. It is like looking at the entire forest rather than at the individual trees.
[Get facts about coronavirus and the latest research. Sign up for The Conversation’s newsletter.]
Brad Bushman, Professor of Communication and Psychology, The Ohio State University and Sophie Kjaervik, PhD Student in Communication, The Ohio State University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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